I see lots of questions about mommy/daddy issues and I wonder how relevant one’s childhood is years later. It seems at some point you would let that go and take personal responsibility for your life. What do you think?
"It seems at some point you would let that go and take personal responsibility for your life. What do you think?"
That is what a responsible adult should do.
Everyone has family issues. We are affected by the environment in which we are raised and those effects are often lasting throughout are life.
But we make the choice to allow those events to affect us in a negative or positive manner.
To write something off as "My parents did this or didn’t do that" is simply making excuses for actions that you, now, control.
of course it does
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Sometimes
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Nature vs nuture…..some balance between the two makes us who we are.
but yes that doesnt mean we are not responcible for our actions and life.
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Yes, i grew up with a twin brother and i am still extremely competitive about everything…
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Your formative years, between the ages of 2 and 6, are very important. You learn more in those years than you do for the rest of your life. But its up to the individual to continue to mature and grow as a human being. I dont blame anything I do or am on my upbringing. Im an adult and as such I have the choice to live in the past or live in the here and now. I chose the here and now. The past is gone. My ex-husband blames all his problems on things that happened in his childhood and its totally pathetic.
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That depend the person.
Childhood can have a positive effect or it can traumatize a person. Strong people will grow out of it, though.
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Absolutely.
Personal responsibility is learned behavior. If you don’t have any by your 20′s it won’t appear spontaneously without some monumental outside force making it happen….like jail time or a near-death experience.
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90% of your brain’s connections are made by the age of 3. I believe if there is a mommy/daddy issue that began early in life, subsequent occurances as you grow older will only reinforce how the brain was originally wired and be harder to let go.
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Although there were many things that could have been said to be ‘character building’ (read – should have never happened), I think that my character started off so strong that it could never be actually changed!
I do not look at the bad relationship I have with my mother, and the non existent one with my father as relevant to my life or character, and haven’t for many years.
The one way they have changed things is that I made a decision to be an attentive and devoted parent as opposed to an inattentive crappy one.
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I think your childhood influences who you are, but you alone are responsible for who you become.
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"It seems at some point you would let that go and take personal responsibility for your life. What do you think?"
That is what a responsible adult should do.
Everyone has family issues. We are affected by the environment in which we are raised and those effects are often lasting throughout are life.
But we make the choice to allow those events to affect us in a negative or positive manner.
To write something off as "My parents did this or didn’t do that" is simply making excuses for actions that you, now, control.
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Mostly.
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